Think of the worst ever thing your worst ever boy/girlfriend did to you and it'll get close to describing how Cardiff City supporters felt at 4:45 this Saturday afternoon about their club, their manager and their players - all of whom have hurt and let them down badly.
As Lennie shook hands with his opposite number and disappeared down the tunnel followed by his players wearily trudging away, none daring to look at any part of the ground of section of the crowd - not that many of us were still inside at that point - you felt that even if we miraculously make Division One (don't give me that "we've can still do it automatically if we win our remaining games" and "we can beat any of the others in the play-offs" crap - it will still now be a miracle), the time is up for many of them.
In the eyes of most Bluebird fans, their credibility is shot, their love and passion for
this club that looks after them so well is flawed and their ultimate desire to succeed is near non-existent and only really exists in their chats to the media but never their performances on the pitch. We have players who have never blended as a team, the fans believe, the players lack belief, we have a team who can win but who are, quite simply, not winners and possibly the most passionless pitchside manager in the game one of the most passionate clubs in the game making wrong calls and blaming his players who he either brought here or continually told us were good enough.
Cardiff City fans, of course, have been hurt for decades by the mismanagement of this great club and until Sam Hammam arrived, we were made to endure a succession of faceless, useless players who probably could have got into trouble with Trades Descriptions for calling themselves "professional footballers" but as limited as they were, many of them were triers who gave their limited all. This is different and makes the hurt much harder to bear because of the players we now and what should be their quality.
Sam Hammam has created a super squad (in hindsight, maybe one of the problems) whose reserve players, if motivated, would easily be able to mount their own play-off challenge. His players are undoubtedly the best looked after in the Second Division not just in terms of the over-the-top pay packets which I bet many will still shamelessly pocket for their latest effort but in terms of their welfare (overnight stays in hotels to prepare for games, training camps in La Manga and so many more benefits).
Colchester took to the field with, they will be the first to admit, 16 lower division journeymen and/or youngsters. Their most well known player - Kemmy Izzet - is only known because he's the brother of Muzzy Izzet. They kicked-off 28 points behind Cardiff, have performed really well for new manager Phil Parkinson and faced City 7 games unbeaten but most of were draws and their wins were against ordinary teams - Chesterfield, Huddersfield and Swindon.
Col U will end the season as nothing more than a simple mid-table side, about right. Their tactics were very simple and an exact replica of Peterborugh's midweek approach, defend deep and in numbers, try and hit City on the break and wait and hope for chances. It was all they needed to do, a damning indictment of City's appalling display.
Cardiff City's 16 included 14 who have played at a higher level and 7 internationals, it's best not to remind ourselves of how much money Sam been spent to firstly sign them and then what he is paying them. They knew that winning was the only option and provide they were sufficiently professional and committed to direct their focus towards that task, it would/should have been good enough.
Lennie made one change to the team beaten at Posh and even that raised eyebrows and made you wonder if the day's troubles started even before a ball was kicked. Andy Legg was allegedly informed on Friday afternoon that he wasn't in the 16 to make way for the returning Gareth Whalley and Andy Campbell. If true, and I'm assured it was, that was somehow changed to Leggy not only being back in the squad (at the expense of Campbell) but starting the game too at left wing back with Gary Croft demoted to the bench.
The crowd was reduced to 12,566 (including 97 away fans), the stuffing apparently already knocked out of a few by the midweek shambles at Peterborough. And after I was sitting on a Tenby beach getting burnt 24 hours earlier (and yes, I dashed back in the morning to see the game), it was now wrap up warm weather as a 10+ degree temperature drop and a bitter swirling wind, made it feel arctic by comparison.
The rise and fall of Cardiff City's season was never better demonstrated than the third minute of the game as Peter Thorne was oh so unlucky with City's best and only real goalkeeper worrying moment of the entire 90 minutes as he latched onto a loose ball and saw his 30 yard looped drive smacked off the top of McKinney's crossbar with the keeper easily beaten then 30 seconds later, another defensive horror instead saw City go 1 down.
McKinney's goal kick was helped on with a lopping ball behind City's defence, Barker was under no pressure but firstly misjudged his header back to Margetson in the wind then fell too to allow a disbelieving KARL DUGUID to nip in and help the ball past Margetson. Barker's error cost City the fatal 2nd goal at Peterborough 3 days earlier and before the end of the game, he would cost us another killer goal too.
Some were jokingly pining for Spencer Prior, some others quick to remind others that Barker was Lennie's signing and not cheap at £600,000 to play left wing back where he has failed for City before being accommodated by moving inside, some again asked why James Collins who has never let City down at centre half is always ignored.
The rest of the first half was a slog and a tedious slog at that. It was a near replica of what happened at Peterborough as City totally dominated the possession and territory but had not the slightest idea how to break down opponents simply being a nuisance in numbers. It is galling to think that in 3 hours of football (at Posh and against Col U, our players failed to make one clear cut opening).
Their had clearly been an instruction to shoot on sight as Thorne whistled a couple of efforts wide and Boland nearly put another out of the ground, the rest never got close enough to have sight of goal. Thorne feeding on scraps, Earnie getting no service, midfielders never breaking through and supporting and wingers unable to beat their markers. Worst and most unprofessional of all were City's woeful set pieces which were an utter disgrace.
Gareth Ainsworth, despite a poor first touch all afternoon, was one player livening up City and threatening to get behind defenders won a succession fo corner kicks - 8 or 9. They were taken by either Legg, Kav or Mahon, not one of them able to clear the first man. There are no excuses, there can be no excuses and you have to ask yourself how limited the training and tactical instruction is when there was no variation to our game plan. There never is though, is there? If it wasn't working near post, why didn't we go far post far a change?
Earnie, looking as out of sorts and oppressed as any player, as the pressure takes hold, twisted and turned to fire in a low shot that McKinney scrambled behind for another useless corner as City's only balls into the penalty area were from Leggy throws and we never prospered from them either. The only football worth watching came from some fantastic Danny Gabbidon trademark touches, turns and runs out od defence - Mr Coolness personified.
Despite near total dominance, it was Colchester who could/should have gone into the interval further ahead as Izzet lost his marker but headed straight at Margetson from 6 yards then Duguid put over at the far post from 6 yards, again with cover gone missing.
A defining moment for me that says it all about this team and management came with a break in play for injury just after half hour. You would expect someone to gee up the players, to show their mettle. But Lennie had his arms folded and said nothing, Ian Butterworth was clutching the top of the dugout and every City player stood motionless with their hands on hips, none looking at or talking to each other until the game restarted.
All highly depressing and it was to get much worse.
Half-time: CITY 0 COLCHESTER 1
Cardiff made two half-time changes. Alan Mahon, totally ineffective, was replaced by Gareth Whalley playing for the first time since November 9 as City desperately needed a midfielder able to pick a through ball.
Rhys Weston meantime swopped his white boots, which he has played crap in every time he's worn them and he had an awful first-half where he even managed to kick fresh air and miss the ball totally 3 or 4 times, for traditional black ones. Some wags suggested that some of our players care more about their colour of boot and hairstyles than their performances - it all sounds mad but it's hard to argue with anybody's criticism after games like this.
The changes nearly all counted for absolutely nothing as Margetson superbly tipped over a rising Duguid drive ... just 20 seconds after the restart with half the players still not awake.
Nothing changed in the game or pattern of play, City on top, the crowd were still patient and behind the team but the only effort we saw was Thorney had a weak effort at McKinney then it was 2-0 and went very ugly on the hour.
A simple ball was knocked out to the left touchline, Barker ran across to cover and was easily favourite ahead of McGleish. All he needed to do was put the ball, a lesson he should have learned after a similar situation cost City at Posh in midweek. But he was powderpuff, took time, allowed McGlesh to win the ball and loop it forward and IZZET, clearly offside, stroked home with ease.
City and Lennie had to do something but nobody was prepared for what was to follow a double sub with Croft for Weston (Croft on the right) but then Gordon for Ainsworth - ok, Ainsworth had only managed 1 cross but he was the only one showing the necessary passion and the only one looking as if he could open up the game. Worse than that, it left City with 3 strikers and no wingers, meaning we were now expected to watch balls pumped in for our entertainment.
The fans have been frustrated with the team and going on all season and with the team now in complete disarray, many let their feeling show. The boos were the loudest of the season (again, I didn't/couldn't join in but I understood fully those who did), chants of "We want Lennie Out" echoed for the first time.
The fans have lost faith in the manager and his players and you have to ask if the players had lost faith in the manager too as they didn't appear to be playing for him. It was inept as City went through the motions, no fight, no energy, no passion.
On 71 minutes, we were all finally put out of our misery (for today at least) as DEAN MORGAN hit a stunning 30 yarder that had goal written on it from the very moment contact was made. City fans applauded it, many walked out to be joined, a couple of minutes later, by Sam Hammam himself was very upset and angry by the events that had unfolded and obviously wanted to be as far away from Ninian Park as possible by final whistle. How many players can look Sam (or us) in the face and say they gave it everything for City this season?
The final stages were either comedic or soul-destroying total embarrassment, dependent on your viewpoint. Duguid was close again with a curling shot that smacked off Margetson's post, City fans seemed disappointed that it didn't go in.
For City, Gordon headed wide, Earnie had an effort disallowed from a Whalley through ball but the flag was up before he made contact and Whalley and Kav were cheered for shooting wide as Colchester were now so comfortable knocking the ball around that City fans cheered their passes and mocked booed City when we won the ball or passed it about.
You felt that the afternoon couldn't get any more squirmish but Sponsors Man of the Match was announced. Nobody could believe they dared to declare one after City reached new levels of patheticness but when it was announced over the tannoy and big screen as Gareth Ainsoworth, spontaneous applause and laughs rang out. Ainsworth himself ayatollahed from the bench, Lennie must have wanted to have disappeared there and then...many supporters wished he did too.
In the pubs afterwards, the mood was as despondent and angry as it was at the game. Crewe losing at home made it more galling at the realisation we could have been 4 points clear and with one foot in Division One if City had done their jobs properly this week.
That we can still go up if we win our remaining games is beyond comprehension ... and probably our ability too ... even if we do it, how many will honestly believe that we deserve it? How does Lennie pick up the players after a game and performance like that? Many fans don't even want Lennie to do it, many think there's absolutely nothing to lose by making a change now - times are that desperate.
The next stage of our promotion campaign is at Bristol on Tuesday. I'll be there, I'll be supporting the lads but deep down, frankly, at this time I don't care too much for it and I wish our season was over. Hope the mood changes in midweek
Report from FootyMad
Colchester dealt a severe blow to Cardiff's automatic promotion hopes with a devastating victory at Ninian Park.
They led from the fourth minute and confirmed their superiority with two second-half goals and a superb all round performance.
"That was as good as it gets away from home," said Colchester manager Phil Parkinson.
"The pressure was all on Cardiff where there is massive expectation and I asked the players to keep it tight in the first 20 minutes.
"We did that but also had the bonus of that early goal. During the second half we scored a second at just the right time but I was only able to relax when the third one went in.
"It has been a good start in management for me but there is still a lot of hard work to do and I have told the players to keep their feet on the ground."Karl Duguid latched onto a poor back pass to open the scoring just a minute after City's Peter Thorne had struck the visitor's cross bar.
It got worse for the home side on the hour when a Dean Morgan cross was hammered home by the unmarked Kemal Izzet.
Victory was confirmed in the 74th minute when the impressive Morgan fired home a dipping shot from fully 30 yards.
"That was the most disappointing performance since I have been at the Club and the first time we have lost two in a row," said City Manger Lennie Lawrence.
"Theoretically we are still in it but we have made life very difficult for ourselves.
"To be fair to the players we lifted our game after their goal but when we got near their box we achieved nothing."As regards substituting Gareth Ainsworth which was obviously not popular with the crowd, he added: "I just wanted to try something different and personally don't think his substitution had anything to do with the defeat.
"I must make changes for our final three matches and get confidence restored to the players. Somehow we must lose the fear factor.
"We are not enjoying any breaks but that is no excuse for making so many enforced errors and concentration is the key and our defence has let us down too many times.
"This is probably the worst performance since I came to the club."
External Reports
Football Echo
Wales on Sunday
The Western Mail